Yesterday, I read Harrison Butker’s entire commencement speech to Benedictine College. I believe he has the right and freedom to say what he wishes as an important pillar of our country. I recently turned 63 years old with a husband and two daughters and retired from a 40 year career in Information Technology – I wanted to share my response to his speech.
There are many areas of his speech to unpack but I will focus on the section where he refers to the “ladies present today” having completed a significant milestone getting their various degrees but have had “the most diabolical lies told to you”. I can only assume these diabolical lies are that women can have careers – while having control over how and when to develop a family. Butker shares that his wife fully achieved her “vocation” as a wife and as a mother saying “Isabelle’s dream of having a career might not have come true” but she is happy. That is a wonderful choice – one assumes she made for herself. Butker implies that making this choice will bring them salvation and closer to God.
Luckily, every woman in the audience have options available to them. At least here in the US, they can have careers, family or both. Men have used religious rationale to define a woman’s role in family and life for centuries and still do today. Either through their words such as Harrison did on May 11th. Or the way the Taliban oppress women today in places like Afghanistan. I would have been more impressed if Isabelle had gotten on stage and talked about how SHE feels about her role in the family and with her husband.
Butker talks about him being blessed because of his gifts – and how it allows him a “lane” to speak. Has it occurred to him that his situation makes it easy for his wife to stay home and be a full time “homemaker”? It is easy for people to declare, the role for a woman is at home with the husband and children as their vocation. In contrast, others preach about the all important “choice” of having it all – career and family. Both sides of the argument ignore that many single and dual parent households must work for the survival of their family. Other women, may be feel their best gifts are in being doctors, teachers, or engineers that fulfill themselves while making life better for others.
We shouldn’t shame women for making choices that either feel right for them, or they have to make out of necessity. God puts many trials in our path for us to grow – and then he allows us the grace to make choices that are right for us. Jesus does not judge or shame others – but rather teaches tolerance, listening, and empathy. Harrison and his wife have made a choice for their family – one they clearly believe is right for them. I just hope he is equally willing to listen and understand why a different choice might work for someone else.
Harrison Butker Field Goal Kicker and 3× Super Bowl champion (LIV, LVII, LVIII) with the Kansas City Chiefs. Link to the transcript of his commencement speech given at Benedictine College in Atchison, KS on May 11, 2024.
